“You are daring”. These three words have kept me going this past month. “You are daring”, my Young life leader told me, “God didn’t make you to stick to what’s safe”. Although the Malawi WIFI made her voice skip and crack, I heard it loud and clear. Ah… Erin always has nuggets of wisdom that demolish my panic-ridden, false logic that take over my thoughts. It’s funny because her words make it into 90% of my blogs, but this is the first time that I’m giving her the credit. (#sorryErin #plagiarism #jkdontsueme)
I am, what some might call, a full-blown, compulsive planner. I like to plan because it gives me an illusion that I have this foreign thing called “control” over my life. At home, I have notebooks dedicated to to-do lists that always manage to bleed into each following week. In high school, I neatly outlined my time; who I hung out with, sports practice, classes, lessons, due dates, etc etc. I first planned my career as a doctor, then as a lawyer, then a marine biologist, then as a U.S marine. Brand new, blank planners with organized dates and times are my aesthetic. Just hand me a calendar and some sparkly pens and I can be busy for weeks. New Years Resolutions were something I eagerly looked forward to, simply to satisfy the thought that I might actually do them that year. (I swore off fast food every year since 2012… But McNuggets are my kryptonite). I even tried to plan out my gap year once – then the World Race happened and well.. its an organization full of god-loving, crazy people who have some sort of vendetta against schedules.
While the race is gradually squeezing this trait out of me, God has been working on SO much more. While I was in Malawi, He asked me to take a leap of faith that will wreck what I conceived to be true about this world; what I believed to be my path in life. You see, although I decided to take a year off, it still fell under the category of “normal” to me. Gap years aren’t out of the ordinary anymore, and I knew it was the best decision. (Dear parents to the kid wanting to take a gap year: IT WORKS. They will miss school and your money will not be wasted.. I promise you).
Last month, God asked me to take another year off of school.
*GASP* dude, I know..
I was upset, honestly. I miss formal education a lot. I miss homework, and classrooms and learning new things. At this point, my planner-self kicked in and I thought, “there’s no way I could take another year off.. I’m never going to get my degree.. I will never have a career.. I’m going to be in my 40’s before I get my associates… Please God, please no”.
I felt heavily split between decisions, so I reached out for some words of wisdom. My Young life leader, Erin, told me I was a daring person and this is a daring move. I’m choosing to step out of what the world always told me to be true: you finish school, start your career and work to make money to be successful. Now, I’m not saying that college after high school is bad – SO many of my friends are living proof of the opposite. Nevertheless, my situation is merely different.
I’m not going to live my life based off of where I went to school, what my grades were, or what I majored in. I’m going to live my life off of experience: where I go, who I meet, what I do and how I treat people along the way. School is simply a bullet point on the list of those experiences. I’ll make it there for sure, however God’s is telling me “not yet”. Who am I to say He’s wrong? Sometimes I forget that God not only created this world, but also lived it through a human lens. He knows the best way to live a spontaneous, fruitful life because He made it in the first place! Why would I turn down this invitation to live the greatest life, humanly possible? He’s saying “Yes, your plans are good, but mine are simply better”. It’s never been and never will be about me anymore; God is building me for His kingdom, and His glory, so that others can experience His glory too. This isn’t a year off anymore.. it’s my life that already began the day I said yes to the wild journey Jesus promises us.
All of this lovely lead up is here for me to announce to you what’s coming next in my little storyline. Starting in October of this year, I’m moving to Gainesville, Georgia for 5 months to take part in a discipleship school with Adventures in Missions called CGA (Community for Global Action). I’ll be doing leadership track, where I’ll learn ways to disciple, and lead people biblically. We are required to have part-time jobs, plus i’ll be living with AIM staff and fellow CGA students. They’ll train me to lead a trip (like the one I am on), and I’ll be enrolling in a couple classes through PCC as well!
This also means that I get to fundraise again (I know, my fav). If you believe in me and my cause or just me as a human being, please, totally donate! Your funds are deeply appreciated. I need $6,000 to participate! The money goes to my housing, general living, and cost of the program. You can do a one-time donation, or a monthly. One-times are great, but even if you donate as little as $5 a month, it makes a huge difference. Having a donor to rely on every month is a blessing and a comfort. When I get home, I’ll be working on selling t-shirts too, so stay tuned for that.
To donate, I’ll add the link to my CGA blog below. It’s exactly like the process for World Race donations, but all you have to do is go to the link, press donate and follow the directions from there! If you have any other questions, please feel free to contact me over phone, email, Facebook, fax, pager, or carrier pigeon (that would be really cool. I think they’re all dead but we can dream).
I am really really excited about all of this, and I’m thankful for all of you that are following this wild ride.. Sometimes I freak out, and let all of those bad thoughts get to me, but I always come back to the truth of it all: I am daring.
CGA Blog Link (where you can donate): laurengarrison.adventurescga.org
Email: [email protected]
