It’s a really hot Tuesday afternoon.
I think I might make vegetable curry tonight.
I don’t know if that’s an appropriate sweltering-hot-summer-night dish, but I’ve never made it before and I am craving something new and fresh. I am in a desperate desire for some “Chopped” style challenge and competition with myself, even If I am not the greatest cook in the world. I often forget that while anyone can pick up a spatula and cook (thank you Ratatouille), there are some recipes that take actual skill and know-how. However, I am not one to back down. I like to throw myself head first into any endeavor. The realization that I don’t know how to cut an onion can wait until I’m halfway done… That’s usually how it goes.
I like unfamiliar territory. As much as my first instinct pulls me to go with what I know, I always feel the Spirit of the Lord tugging me in the opposite direction. Whether that be quitting cheerleading after 6 years, to play rugby, or traveling the world for 9 months, and taking a gap year(s) instead of going to school. It’s a reoccurring theme in my life to rip apart the to do list, say no to my planner and jump feet first into uncharted waters with no knowledge on how to swim. While in the moment, I don’t necessarily love flopping around and gasping for air, trying to find my flow and rhythm, I always look back in gratitude. When I’m flailing, struggling and failing, waist deep in the nitty gritty and leaning completely on my Father, His presence and our intimacy become the deepest. When I am gaining my footing in new terrain the Lord’s grace and mercy dominates.
While easier said than done, choosing the unknown has always been a step by step process with me. It has never been my first choice, and the Lord clearly understands how stubborn I am. Sometimes it takes me months to realize the Lord has been kindly, and gently nudging me into a new direction. I experienced this recently, while gearing up to head out on my next trip with Adventures. As some of you may know, I am leaving in the fall for three months as an Alumni Team Leader for World Race: Gap Year. Up until a week before training camp, I was set to go on a route with a leadership team full of close friends. (Seriously!) Out of the 8 people on leadership, only 2 were new faces to me. To me, this was the absolute dream team, and I was lucky enough to have a spot to fill. When I finally decided to let the Lord step into my decision, it was obvious right away that I wasn’t supposed to launch with that squad. I tried really hard, and asked “Lord, are you sure?” a minimum of a hundred times, but all I heard was, “When have I ever called you to something familiar?”. I was wrecked and He was right, like He always is.
I chose at the last minute to switch to another route and unsurprisingly, it felt great. I love my route, I love my leadership team and I love my squad. Of course the Lord was faithful! I don’t need to know the plan, to know that simple truth. I don’t need the means to know what the end is, because I know my Father is constant and consistent. I trust Him to run the playbook, and point me as needed.
In the book of Philemon, Paul writes, “and one thing more: Prepare a guest room for me, because I hope to be restored to you in answer to your prayers” (v22). I love this because he doesn’t question his fate. He doesn’t sulk and pity himself for being in prison. He says prepare me a room because I will see you soon. The confidence Paul has in his hazy future is encouraging. More often than not, I feel like I can barely see my hand outstretched in front of me. I don’t know where I am going or what I am doing after these next three months. I barely have an idea of what these three months are going to look like! All I know is that I’m running and jumping hard, knowing full well that the Lord is there to catch me. That my room in His kingdom is already prepared.
In all, I am ready to go. I am ready to simply show up. Without expectation, and equipped by the Lord himself. I miss the World Race, and I miss the changing culture. Saying goodbye feels like a heavier weight this time around, but I trust it’s all for His glory.
If you were wondering, I made the curry. It was delicious.
*Check out my new blog! It’s something I created apart from Adventures in Missions, just for funzies. I plan to continue to post here, and over there for the time being! Thanks for reading!
https://laurengarrison.wixsite.com/thoughtbubble-1
